Inspiring confidence

A lot of people who seek out my services are looking to increase their confidence, for all sorts of reasons and in many different areas. Some people see themselves as generally lacking in confidence; some have low self-esteem and low self-belief; others need to raise their confidence in a specific area of their life, perhaps within a relationship, at work, or for a particular event.

We are all confident about something, whether it's a belief, the way we raise our children, political allegiance (well, maybe not so much these days...), whether we like chocolate, or maybe just being confident that we're not confident. The trick is to understand this and transfer this confidence to the area which needs it. Lack of confidence is just an illusion created by fear, more often than not unfounded fear.

One area where people frequently lack confidence is in public speaking, presenting to an audience. I managed to raise my confidence in this area through being a member of The Athena Network, being in a situation where I had to stand up and talk about my business, and then going on to present on different topics. In fact, I can now confidently say that I really enjoy it. When I went on a workshop with Partners With You, and watched Neil Roberts strutt his stuff, I wanted to be up front, not in the audience.

Many people choose Toastmasters to learn how to perform infront of a crowd and get used to writing presentations. I also heard last week of an apparently fantastic Platform Presentation Skills course by Christopher Howard - certainly a considerable financial investment, but also an investment for your business.

But if you want inspiration to raise your confidence, see that anything is possible, look at these 2 videos:





If they can do it, you can.

A celebration and a lesson in honesty

Sometimes, the simplest of things can teach you a great and memorable lesson in life, without pain or strife. The other day, I witnessed this unfolding for an 18/19 year old lad at The Drawingroom. It was early evening, and he was sitting outside waiting to have a coffee with a friend, when he heard something drop to the floor when someone walked by. He didn't pay attention immediately, but when he looked up, he saw a bundle of money on the ground. Picking it up, he found that it amounted to about £350, and when his friend returned, they decided to hand it in to The Drawingroom in the hope that the owner would enquire inside when he came back to look for it.

I happened to be there and had noticed someone I know walk past a few minutes earlier, and when I then saw him striding urgently back through the cobbled courtyard, I realised the money must belong to him. He was over the moon that someone had not only found it, but hadn't decided to pocket it. He had actually seen the young lad counting the money with his friend and didn't know how he was going to approach them. He thanked the boy and handed him a £20 note from the bundle of money.

It was a really great feeling to witness this event. We were so relieved that the money had been dropped outside The Drawingroom, and not on the High Street, where it is far more likely to have disappeared into someone's pocket. Richard, my partner, and owner of The Drawingroom, was proud that his two young customers had been so honest, and also rewarded them with free coffees. When they left, our young hero said that it had been a life-changing event for him, that he had learnt that honesty has its own reward and he felt a little taller for it.

The Power of Community

I first learnt about the concept of 'community' when I was working with The Good Brand Works, now Goodbrand & Co, an innovative Corporate Social Responsibilty consultancy. The company's working practice was based on 8 specific values and the importance of working as a community of like-minded, committed individuals. Once a month, we would gather for a 'Community Day', where we would reaffirm our passion for our work, and check in with our shared values to ensure we were honouring the principle of working internally and externally within this framework. It was an inspiring time of my life, I had never felt so excited about a job, knowing that I wasn't just earning a living, I was making a difference, whilst at the same time feeling respected, valued and supported as an individual. The community's commitment to our values is still a strong reference point for me, especially when I'm working with clients on exploring and identifying their own core values.

Community will mean something different to everyone, and more often than not, we are part of more than one. A community will give you support, belonging, identity, sometimes a shared identity. I have several different communities in my life. Family, neighbours, The Drawingroom in Chesham, my business network, online networking communities, fellow coaches, the broader community of the town where I have lived most of my life, and I know I could think of others. This morning, I had a fascinating conversation at The Drawingroom with two guys who were meeting face to face for the first time, but who were part of an online community of like-minded souls who had developed a bond of friendship through discussions on subjects close to their hearts. They were off to London to meet the other members of this select group, all of whom would be meeting face to face for the first time. I was quite excited for them! Just from the conversations we had in half an hour, I could tell they were going to have a great time.

I feel very proud of all the communities in my life, and very strengthened by them. Even as I speak, my next-door neighbour on one side is cutting the grass in the garden of my neighbours on the other side. They have moved and are waiting for a new tenant to move in. There is no personal gain in what he is doing, he is just being community-minded. Good karma points! Our front gardens cross into each other, so there is no boundary, and whenever either one of us cuts the grass at the front (usually my neighbour!), we naturally go straight across and cut both sides. This doesn't happen further down the road. Small patches of grass are left overgrown whilst the adjacent patch is trimmed neatly down a measured line between the terraced houses. Not very community-minded, no good karma points for them!

Community is very important for our sense of well being. It is the antidote to lonelines and isolation. I met a girl last week who has moved 47 times in her life and one of the things that she is searching for, yearns for even, is being part of a community. A sense of belonging. This is something my boyfriend would identify with, because his father was in the army and consequently spent his formative years moving from one place to another with little time to feel that deeper sense of belonging. He has now completely turned that around by creating a community space within our town where people can meet for coffee, feel safe, welcomed and known, gather with friends for meals and to listen to live music, and also be a peaceful haven for quiet reflection. It's a wonderful unique place, The Drawingroom, and the heart of it, the essence of the vision, is to contribute to the local community.

I have learnt to appreciate being part of a town community, having at one time wanted to leave it all behind and settle elsewhere. Apart from 4 years at university and a couple of years in Yorkshire, I've lived here since I was 10 years old. Both my fathers grew up here, (for an explanation of this, read my story on my website!), and every now and then I meet someone who grew up with them. I met one such person the other day whilst out walking my dog. He pointed to a tree, which I had previously photographed, which they used to call Old Man's Foot. There is something very comforting about knowing that I'm walking along the same paths which my dads walked and cycled on years ago.

I was delighted to hear that Radio 2 has been running a campaign this week called 'Love Where You Live', which culminates today in street parties being held around the country. There is even one in Leicester Square right now, with live music.

I could write about Community for ages, and tell stories of community spirit. You may have heard on the radio this week about the chaos caused by the fire in Chesham, which gutted the British Legion, a sad loss for part of our community who met there. I've heard that since the fire, they have had offers of help from various local organisations.

I'd love to hear what community means to you. It is something to be celebrated. Leave a comment with your story! Let me know that you've visited! Then I'll know that Spring to Life Musings has a community of its own!